AN UGLY SECRET
Domestic Violence within the Church
Chuck Colson

A woman I'll call "Marleen" went to her pastor for help. "My husband is abusing me," she told him. "Last week he knocked me down and kicked me. He broke one of my ribs."

Marleen's pastor was sympathetic. He prayed with Marleen-and then he sent her home. "Try to be more submissive," he advised. "After all, your husband is your spiritual head."

Two weeks later, Marleen was dead-killed by an abusive husband. Her church could not believe it. Marleen's husband was a Sunday school teacher and a deacon. How could he have done such a thing?

Tragically, studies reveal that spousal abuse is just as common within the evangelical churches as anywhere else. This means that about 25 percent of Christian homes witness abuse of some kind.

These numbers may shock you-and they certainly shocked me-so you may be wondering if the studies were done by secular researchers hostile to the church. I can assure you, sadly, they were not.

Denise George, a gifted writer and the wife of theologian Timothy George, has published a new book called What Women Wish Pastors Knew. "Spouse abuse shocks us," George writes. "We just cannot believe that a church deacon or member goes home after worship . . . and beats his wife." Tragically, however, George notes, some of these men justify their violence "by citing biblical passages."

Well, obviously they're misinterpreting Scripture. In Ephesians 5:22, husbands are told to love their wives as Christ loved the church; beating wives black-and-blue hardly constitutes Christian love. First Peter tells husbands to live with their wives considerately. And the Bible makes it clear that the church has no business closing its eyes to violent men. In 1 Timothy 3:3, the church is told that when it comes to choosing leaders, they must find men who are "not violent but gentle," sober, and temperate.

The amount of domestic abuse in Christian homes is horrifying, and the church ought to be doing something about it-not leaving the problem to secular agencies. But this is one mission field where the church is largely missing in action. And sometimes pastors, albeit with good intentions, do more harm than good.

George sites a survey in which nearly 6,000 pastors were asked how they would counsel women who came to them for help with domestic violence. Twenty-six percent would counsel them the same way Marleen's pastor did: to continue to "submit" to her husband, no matter what. Twenty-five percent told wives the abuse was their own fault-for failing to submit in the first place. Astonishingly, 50 percent said women should be willing to "tolerate some level of violence" because it is better than divorce.

Advice like this, George warns, often puts women "in grave danger"-and in some cases, can be a death warrant.

Pastors need to acknowledge that domestic abuse in the church is a problem, and learn how to counsel women wisely.

Stay tuned for more on this subject-one the church has not said enough about.

Obviously, Christians must uphold the sanctity of marriage. But we should never ignore the dangers of violent spouses-men who use the Bible to justify abusing, and even killing, their wives.

Joyfully Home: What He Must Be Giveaway

Joyfully Home: What He Must Be Giveaway

Vintage Saints: Thomas Aquinas

Mark Driscoll

Thomas Aquinas was born in 1225 in his Italian family castle at Roccasecca. He grew up to be an unattractive heavy man who suffered from dropsy and had one eye that was much larger than the other. He was not a particularly dynamic man but rather an introspective, quiet loner who rarely entered a conversation, and when he did he would speak about something completely unrelated to the topic. Consequently, his college classmates named him “the dumb ox.”

Kidnapped

In 1244 Aquinas joined the Dominican Catholic order. His family was greatly opposed to his decision because they wanted him to become wealthy and powerful, not take a vow of poverty. His brothers kidnapped him and held him captive for fifteen months in an effort to prevent him from entering a life of ministry. Unable to dissuade him, their last-ditch effort involved sending a woman into his bedroom to seduce him, but he forced her to leave his room and devoted himself to a life of chastity.

Finally relenting, his family released Aquinas and in 1245 he went to Paris to study with Albert the Great. In 1250 he was ordained as a Catholic priest, and in 1256 he was named a master of theology at Paris.

Reasoning with the Greeks

At that time Christian theology was in great conflict with Greek philosophers, and Aquinas arose as the most competent thinker to address the interface between faith and reason. Many of the great thinkers of the day were enamored with Aristotle and his ability to explain all of reality not with faith and Scripture but with reason and philosophy. The growing popularity of Aristotle’s teaching was a great threat to Christianity on three major issues. One, Aristotle appeared to deny that a god made creation, preferring instead an eternal creation. Two, Aristotle was believed to oppose any concept of personal physical eternal life. Third, Aristotle seemingly taught that God only thought of Himself and was therefore not involved in the affairs of men or personally concerned about anyone.

Theology AND Reason

After carefully studying and writing commentary on a dozen of Aristotle’s works, Aquinas concluded that much of Aristotle’s work was misread by Islamic scholars and that most of his actual conclusions were compatible with Christianity. In agreement with Aristotle, Aquinas concluded that philosophical reason is based upon sensory data gathered by our five senses and that theological revelation does not contradict reason but exceeds it by providing insights to that which only God knows and the unaided human mind could never know otherwise. For example, Aquinas would agree that through reason and observing creation a person could reasonably conclude that there was a Creator, but apart from the revelation of Scripture one would never conclude that the Creator was the Trinitarian God.

The Reader

Throughout his life, Aquinas was an avid reader and author. Although he died before his fiftieth birthday, he produced more than ten million words in some sixty works, including eighteen enormous and dense volumes of theology. His penmanship was so poor and slow, though, that he dictated to as many as four secretaries simultaneously on different subjects. His surviving biblical commentaries include work on all of Paul’s letters and the gospels of Matthew and John, as well as a work called the Golden Chain, a collection of comments by various church fathers on all four of the gospels. His Old Testament works include a commentary on Job, a partial commentary on the Psalms (through the first fifty-one), and a commentary on Isaiah. For obvious reasons, Aquinas is widely regarded as the greatest theologian of the Middle Ages.

Summa Theologica

In 1265 Aquinas began writing perhaps his most famous work, the Summa Theologica, which means “a summation of theological knowledge.” While working on the massive tome, Aquinas had a vision that caused him to suddenly stop working on the project. Despite pleadings from his secretary, he never wrote again and spent the remaining months of his life in reported silence until his death in 1274.

By Pastor Mark Driscoll
Researched by Deacon Crystal Griffin

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How did God make evil commit suicide at the cross?

By John Piper December 1, 2008

The following is an edited transcript of the audio.

How did God make evil commit suicide at the cross?

(This question stems from the book Spectacular Sins.)

When Christ died he purchased for his people the forgiveness of all our sins. And he completed for us a life of perfect obedience, "unto death, even death on a cross," which could be counted as our obedience when we are united to him by faith. So the death of Jesus is the most ultimate act of love, the most ultimate act of salvation. It is the only way I can be saved from my sin and escape the wrath of God by having the curse removed from me.

So that moment in history, those hours of suffering on the cross are the apex of God's love, the apex of my salvation, the apex of my deliverance, the apex of my triumph over sin partially now and fully later.

Now, how did that happen?

It happened by sin. Sin made it happen. By definition, the murder of the Son of God is sin. And by definition the death of the Son of God is my deliverance from sin.

Sin killed itself when it killed Jesus. Sin committed suicide when it killed Jesus. At least the sin in my life. Hell will be the completion of the judgment of God on sin for those who don't welcome the forgiveness of Jesus. But Judas didn't just commit physical suicide. That's symbolic of the fact that the satanic influence upon him committed its own suicide.

Here's the remarkable thing: Satan knew that when he led Judas to betray Jesus he would be defeated by it. I think that for two reasons:

1) In the wilderness Satan was desperately trying to get the Son of God to take the route of the non-cross power move: "Use your power to get bread. Use your power to rule the world." And Jesus was saying, "I'm not going where you want me to go. Namely, I will not leave the Calvary road."

2) When Peter heard Jesus say, "I'm going to be delivered into the hands of the elders and the chief priests and they're going to kill me," Peter said, "No they're not! Not while I'm alive!" And Jesus' response to him was not, "Thank you for loving me so much." His response was, "Get behind me Satan!" meaning that the effort to keep Jesus from going to the cross is satanic.

Satan knew what Jesus was about to do. His first tactics were, "I've got to keep him from going to the cross!" But then he sent him to the cross. Why? It says, "Satan put it in the heart of Judas to destroy him." Satan made the final move on getting Jesus killed.

I think the answer is this: Satan is irrational, because sin is irrational. He had done his very best to divert Jesus from the cross, but he saw, "His face is set like flint to go to Jerusalem. I'm failing!" Therefore he decided, "I will make it as horrible as I can." And in doing that I think he knew he was despairing.

It's like a man who is about to commit suicide because he hates his wife who has made his life miserable. This is what almost all suicide is: it's the way of getting back at somebody. You basically either want to be pitied, or you want to really hurt someone ("I'm going to kill myself and show my parents how bad they were"). So you can just see a man moving right up to suicide and his last thought is, "This will really make them miserable." BANG!

I think that's the way Satan was working when he killed Jesus. He knew, "I'm done for. I don't know how long he'll let me maraud in the world to do as much damage as I can. But I'm going to the lake of fire in the end, and I'm just going to take as many people with me as I can, and make the death of the Son of God as horrible as I can."

So Satan committed suicide, and he knew it.

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FREE Resources: Shepherding a Child's Heart

Shepherding a Child's Heart Conference- Media

Biblical Parenting
Presents:Tedd Tripp
Author of
'Shepherding a Child's Heart'
'Instructing a Child's Heart'
'Shepherding a Child's Heart: Parent's Handbook'

Media from the Conference

Session 1: The Call to Formative Instruction

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Session 2: Giving Kids a Vision for God's Glory

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Session 3: Helping Kids Understand Authority

• Download the audio
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Session 4: Helping Kids Understand the Heart

• Download the audio
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Session 5: Overview of Corrective Discipline

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Everyone wants to be a great parent—the biggest responsibility of parenthood is teaching your children to love Jesus with all of their heart, soul, and strength. For parents with children of any age, Dr. Tripp's insightful, biblical teaching provides perspectives and procedures for shepherding your child's heart into the paths of life.

"Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door-frames of your houses and on your gates."
Deuteronomy 6:5-9

About Dr. Tripp

In writing Shepherding A Child's Heart, Dr. Tripp drew on his 30+ years of experience as a pastor, counselor, school administrator, and father. He now also includes 10 years of insights from teaching this material in his conferences offered around the world. In addition to speaking at conferences, Dr. Tripp is the pastor of Grace Fellowship Church in Hazleton, PA.
The things your child does and says flow from the heart, and Dr. Tripp's Shepherding A Child's Heart conference is about how to speak to and engage with the heart of children.

"God is concerned with the heart - the well-spring of life"
Proverbs 4:23

"Parents tend to focus on the externals of behavior rather than the internal overflow of the heart. We tend to worry more about the "what" of behavior than the "why." Accordingly, most of us spend an enormous amount of energy in controlling and constraining behavior. To the degree and extent to which our focus is on behavior, we miss the heart."
Tedd Tripp, Senior Pastor
Grace Fellowship Church, Hazelton, PA

Saving Grace, how can we keep our selves pure?

By LAUREN F. WINNER

Published: May 19, 2006

Durham, N.C.

THE recent Harvard study that found teenagers' virginity pledges to be ineffective should come as a surprise to no one. Several studies had already come to that conclusion. If we are truly to help our teenagers adopt the countercultural sexual ethic of abstinence until marriage, Christians concerned about the rampant premarital sex in our communities need to rethink, rather than simply defend, young people's abstinence pledges.

It is awfully easy for Christians to blame our community's sexual sins on the mores of post-sexual revolution America — to criticize Abercrombie & Fitch catalogs, to natter on about how "Grey's Anatomy" portrays sexual behavior that doesn't square with Christianity.

But perhaps it's more important that we reconsider how we talk about sex in the church. For although the church devotes an immense amount of energy to teaching about sexuality — just go to the Christian inspiration section of your nearest Barnes & Noble and compare the number of books about chastity to books that challenge, say, consumerism — many Christians still "struggle with" (in that euphemistic evangelical phrase) premarital sex, adultery and pornography.

So why is the church's approach to teaching chastity falling short? Consider the popular "True Love Waits" virginity pledge: "Believing that true love waits, I make a commitment to God, myself, my family, my friends, my future mate and my future children to a lifetime of purity including sexual abstinence from this day until the day I enter a biblical marriage relationship."

This pledge and others like it are well meaning but deeply flawed. For starters, there's something disturbing about the assumption that teenagers are passively waiting for their future mates and children, when the New Testament is quite clear that some Christians are called to lifelong celibacy. (Paul, for example, did not have a mate or children, and Dan Brown's fantasies notwithstanding, Jesus's only bride was the church.) Chastity is not merely about passive waiting; it is about actively conforming our bodies to the arc of the Gospel and receiving the Holy Spirit right now.

Pledgers promise to control intense bodily desires simply by exercising their wills. But Christian ethics recognizes that the broken, twisted will can do nothing without rehabilitation by God's grace. Perhaps the centrality of grace is recognized best not in a pledge but in a prayer that names chastity as a gift and beseeches God for the grace to receive it.

The pledges are also cast in highly individualistic terms: I promise that I won't do this or that. As the Methodist bishop William Willimon once wrote: "Decisions are fine. But decisions that are not reinforced and reformed by the community tend to be short-lived."

During our first year of marriage, my husband and I lived in a small apartment inside a church. On Tuesdays, Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon met downstairs. As I got to know some of the regulars, I began to wonder if there wasn't something the church could learn from the 12-step groups in our midst.

After all, what are 12-step groups but communities of people expecting transformation? People show up because they want to change, and they know that making a promise by themselves — I will stop drinking — won't cut it. Alcoholics Anonymous explicitly recognizes that transformation works best when a community comes alongside you and participates in your transformation.

Christians, like 12-step group attendees, are people who are committed to becoming, to use the Apostle Paul's phrase, new creatures. Living sexual lives that comport with the Gospel is one part of that.

Perhaps pledges for chastity need to be made not only by the individual teenager. Perhaps we also need pledges made by the teenager's whole Christian community: we pledge to support you in this difficult, countercultural choice; we pledge that the church is a place where you can lay bare your brokenness and sin, where you don't have to dissemble; we pledge to cheer you on when chastity seems unbearably difficult, and we pledge to speak God's forgiveness to you if you falter. No retooled pledge will guarantee teenagers' chastity, but words of grace and communal commitment are perhaps a firmer basis for sexual ethics than simple assertions that true love waits.

Lauren F. Winner is the author of "Girl Meets God" and "Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity."

Why are we not doing our job?

This post is something that I posted on July 6th, 2008, Just before I went on my first missions trip to Lisbon, NH. I hope that you are blessed by it.

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lisbon bound- thoughts of my heart

24 hours from now i will be in Lisbon, New Hampshire on my first missions trip. and Im pretty nervous about it, I don't really know what to expect, I don't even really know what's going on! it should be good though, everything seems to be coming together alright, i guess, it all seems like we aren't trying hard enough (but...will we ever really try hard enough to share Christ?) I'm really hoping that this will have an impact on my sister, she seems to be struggling with a lot lately, and i really hop that somehow God can work in her heart and bring her closer to Him. I've been trying to go on missions trips for years, but everytime something happened that kept me from being able to go overseas, probably because I wasn't ready. I'm apparently going to be doing the 7-8th grade VBS, which should be fun, I like junior high kids. ever notice the lack of caring in the Christian church? the lack of follow through with "commitments" made in front of congregations? It's really been eating me away lately, especially in my own life, looking at myself and seeing my hypocracy, then seeing people do the same thing. It kills you, really. Why don't people stay on course? what gets us off track? I know in my own life its straight up sin, giving into those temptations that we all say we shouldn't give in to, yet still do. We turn off the alarm that's goign off in our head when the time comes and just throw Christ to the side and spit on Him, His word, and Hid sacrifice. how many Christians sit under great Biblical teachers every sunday then still neglect their own marriage and family just to have an affair with someone? it's sad, I can tell you exactly why more people aren't coming to Christ, they don't believe us, they look at Christians and see our falacies and they're the exact same as theirs. They see "christian" teenagers that act as bad if not worse than their unsaved peers, and they see that we do not look any different than the world.
Matthew 5: 13&14-
13"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.

14"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

Salt and light, that's what we're called to be. we're told to take the light and show it to the world, this dark dreery, evil, terrifiying world. We are to show the light of Jesus Christ to them, WITHOUT US GETTING THE WORD OUT, PEOPLE ARE DYING AND GOING TO HELL!!! There are people all over the world that think that by living a decent life "sharing the gospel with my life" that somehow, people will look at them and say "well golly gee! they're nice! God MUST be real! and He MUST have paid the price for my fallacy!! I should believe in Him before I die and go to Hell! that would be TERRIBILE!!!" what a load of bullfeathers. if you think that people are going to look at you, a sinful, fallen, evil human being and somehow see the redemption that has been made available for them by a perfect, holy, righteous and just God, you my friend are full of yourself, and a coward. They cannot look at you and see God, because you are NOT God! You must tell them about God, and the sacrifice of His son for their sins. the Bible tells us that without God, nothing a man does is truly good in God's eyes, they cannot even think about Him and His sacrifice without the working of God, and yet we try to throw ourselves into the gospel like somehow we have something to add to it, and make it more "relevant" or better suited for the world that we're tryign to reach. You've got to be kidding me, you can't possibly add anything to the gospel and have it work better, the gospel works because of the power of God that created the Gospel.
Deuteronomy 13:32 - 32 See that you do all I command you; do not add to it or take away from it.

there are other verses that talk about the penalties of adding or taking away from the word of God. The word of God is just that: the very words of God. let them speak for themself, let God do what God does and do not try to put yourself in the way to muddle things up, the world will not appreciate it. We as Christians are called to spread the gospel, the gospel of Jesus Christ alone, to the whole world. Jesus did not die to give you money, or to destroy sickness, or to make you happy, or to give you any earthly possessions. As a matter of fact if you look at the Bible and see what Jesus says about following Him, it is not a pretty picture.

Mark 8: 34-37
34Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 35For whoever wants to save his life^[c] will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. 36What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? 37Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? 38If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his Father's glory with the holy angels."

are you prepared to do that? take up YOUR cross? DIE on that cross? are you willing to take everything you have and let it be ripped from you, to be beaten and stripped of your clothes, to be hung in the most humiliating way for all the world to see, and die a death that is as slow and painful as any man can possibly imagine? that is what we are called to do. Die. Die daily. to leave behind our old ways, put on a new self, and go about the world, shining the light of Jesus Christ and his redemptive sacrifice on the cross, to throw people to God, to forsake ourselves to simply share the gospel with the world around us. why is it that we as Christians have the absolute defination of happiness, joy, peace, and strength buried inside of us, and yet we are not sharing it? why do I get nervous when an opportunity arises to speak of Christ and His sacrifice for us all? why do I care at all about how people feel about me? why does it matter to us? we are not instructed to be concerned with what the world thinks of us!
1 John 3:13-
13Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you.

that right there sums it up. The world WILL HATE YOU! they hated Jesus, they hate His followers, they hate me, they hate you. so don't let that bother you, don't let it surprise you. don't act like everyone loves you, because they don't. Don't act like Jesus has made you oh so super happy, if inside you are a wreck. Jesus can redeem that, all of our unbelief, our wandering, and our hatred for him and his word. yes, our hatred for Him and Hid word. have any of us ever loved God perfectly? no, we have not, I for one have been so angry and incensed with God that I shook my fist in rage at Him and told Him to kill me, i hated God. But He did not kill me, because He loves me, a self sacrificing and all encompassing love that cannot be increased or decreased. He loves us perfectly, all the time, even if we do not love Him back in the same manner. Let that be what we understand, let us realize that God's love is never failing, let Him be our banner (jehovah-nissi) Let us not get in the way of His work, let us only be fully humbled by Him to do his work the way He wants us to, not the way we want to. To not question when we are humiliated, persecuted (not the way most united states Christians think they are, but actual persecution where you life is in danger because you said that God, Jehovah is Lord of all), let us take this sword that is His word and share it with the world, it is a double bladed sword with no hilt, we cannot strike down lies for others without impacting ourselves. let us remember that, and hold for God, and god alone as our banner, over anything here on earth, let us elevate God to His rightful position in our lives, above all else, and let us be all be willing to die to see Him elevated in the lives of others. now go and share the gospel with someone, if you are a Christian, then you should be able to share the gospel, because you should know the gospel, because you should have heard it, then believed the gospel. If you cannot share the gospel because you do not know the gospel, then it would be a good time to sit down and study the scriptures, begining with the gospel according to Matthew and see if you really are saved, and following after Christ in that self sacrificing manner, even unto your own death. When you become saved, you are automatically equipped with all the tools that you need to share the gospel:The power of God,and the ability to share it with the world around us. If your faith is not being shown, then it is not faith, because faith is not fake. if you truly believe, others will know it. Make sure now that they know exactly what it is that you are trusting in, God, and God alone.

Stand Strong!
Soli Deo Gloria!

in Christ alone,
your brother,
-Lee